Decks, Digital Disasters, and (Dis)grace

This week, I’ve been reflecting on some unintentional, embarrassing mistakes. If you're anything like me - someone who replays every faux pas in their head like an Ekta Kapoor serial - you'll understand the impulse to pack your bags, change your name, and start over in a new city.

I made one such mistake recently. Here's the background. 10 years in Consulting have changed how I speak to myself in my head. When I take a first pass at reworking / creating a deliverable, I leave notes / ideas for myself in comments that I will get back to during the final version. The comments would read something like, "Reword this. Add a paragraph about <xyz> here, etc." That's my process.

So last week, I got a deck from my boss to rework. It was created by her peer and reviewed by her boss. As usual, I leave my initial comments - rough, unfiltered, for-my-eyes-only kind of notes - during the first pass. Only this time, I was in a mood, feeling snarky, and I added a few extra "observations" to the deck.

This Monday, to my horror and utter shame, I realized two things: (1) I added those comments to the global, live version - not on my personal copy, and (2) EVERYONE read those comments. My boss. Her peer. Her peer's team. My boss' boss.

Now my comments weren’t rude, exactly. But they weren’t worded for others either. Things like “What the hell does this even mean? Need to rework. This makes no sense. Delete.”  And as someone who trains people managers and leaders on how to communicate effectively... Let's just say that this wasn't my finest moment.

I was asked to explain. There was no drama. No backlash. People were gracious. I clarified that these were personal notes and apologized.

But inside, I felt exposed. Disgraced. Do they think I don't respect them or their work? Would they trust me with communicating with sensitivity after this? Do I have to overcompensate by being extra nice to make up for this fiasco? These thoughts kept eating at me.

Today, I found myself on the other side of a similar situation - but this time, as a leader.

During a virtual training my team was facilitating, an intern accidentally shared her screen. WhatsApp was open in the background. A personal message from her boyfriend - very much not suitable for workplace viewing - popped up. The intern did not realize her screen was shared; the facilitator was still figuring out what happened; and the audience - the audience was reading the messages. Someone figured out whose screen it was - they called out the intern's name, asked her to stop broadcasting her screen. She panicked and dropped off the training.

20 minutes later when she called me, she was crying. Mortified. Apologetic. And all I could think was: We’ve all been there.

Not with the exact same mistake perhaps. But with the same rush of shame. The same what-have-I-done spiral. I told her to have a glass of water, may be go for a short walk. I directed my team to trim the recording to remove the slip-up. I assured her this was not a career-defining moment - that this was a learning moment. I told her we've all been there and may be - not now - but may be a few years later, she would be able to look back at this incident and laugh about it.

A Curious Gift of Timing

Since Monday, I was quietly brooding. I thought everyone judged me. I am only eight months into this organization, into a new role. When this incident happened today, I could see myself in that intern. I was telling her what I myself needed to hear. That conversation helped me as much as it (hopefully) helped her.

So here's what I have learned (and re-learned) this week:

1. Digital spaces need analogue caution: Comments, screens, apps - they all remember more than we want them to. Slow down. Check twice.

2. Self-kindness is often the hardest skill: I gave the intern grace. I gave others clarity. But I gave myself a spiral. That’s worth unlearning.

3. A culture that celebrates learning from mistakes is one worth building: Not every mistake deserves a post-mortem. But every stumble deserves space - to breathe, to reflect, and to evolve.

   
   

So here’s to the faux pas that feel like the final nail in the coffin: The unmuted rants on conference calls. The “reply all” horror shows. The I-took-my-phone-to-the-bathroom-to-pee-but-forgot-my-video-was-still-on slip-ups. The comments we meant to clean up, but forgot.

Let’s not just forgive ourselves for them - let’s grow from them. And let’s be the kind of teammates and leaders who help others do the same.

Photo by Vie Studio: https://www.pexels.com/photo/a-dry-flower-and-a-piece-of-paper-with-texts-on-the-brown-surface-7006363/