Kind, flawed, human - How I built a voice that's truly my own.

We’re told to “find" our voice - as if it's hidden away in some treasure hunt - and once you find it, you're sorted. For life. That once our current voice - which, others might tell us, needs to be stronger, softer, sharper, clearer or some other adjective - reaches the sweet spot of perfection, we are done working upon it.

But the truth is, your voice isn’t fixed. It evolves - just like you do. It changes with experience, emotion, and confidence. And sometimes when you start believing that your voice needs fixing, you lose it altogether. Silence feels safer, more comfortable. In silence, there's little judgement. Until one day you realize that the silence has cost you your confidence and that's not an option anymore.

I write this from my own experience. I was a confident, outspoken teenager. I participated in debates and declamations and I wasn't afraid to hold my own space. This changed when I started my first job at 22. I was a first generation Corporate employee in my family. And this - this was a new, unfamiliar environment. Comments from some of the managers and leaders I had started chipping away at my confidence.

The problem was not that I had poor managers or leaders. In fact, I worked with some of the best people who helped me grow as a professional. The problem was that most of the times, the feedback only mentioned what went wrong and not what could be improved.

I started questioning, "What if I don't know how to speak, when to speak, or what to speak in certain situations?" At the heart of it was low self-esteem. A belief that my raw, unfiltered voice wasn’t good enough. That it needed justification, context, charm - anything to make it more palatable. Even when I spoke, I didn’t feel heard - because I wasn’t being me.

I spent years polishing my voice - especially in written and formal spaces - afraid that the wrong word, the wrong tone, the wrong sentence could be misunderstood, judged, or worse, penalized. I wasn’t just writing or speaking. I was constantly self-censoring, anticipating every possible reaction, editing myself before the world ever got the chance.

It’s taken years of unlearning to stop apologizing for simply being. To recognize that being “unapologetically yourself” isn’t about being loud, arrogant, or indifferent - it is about not abandoning yourself in the pursuit of acceptance. It’s about learning that your voice is valid, even when it’s uncertain. Even when it changes. Even when it’s not “the smartest thing in the room.”

My voice is still evolving. But it’s finally mine. Sometimes hesitant, sometimes bold, always human. It’s the voice of someone who’s lived, lost, loved, and learned to be a little less afraid of her own truth. And I draw comfort that my voice will continue to evolve as long as I live - based on my experiences and situations - as it is supposed to.

And if you’re still trying to reclaim your voice - know this: You will make mistakes. You will use the wrong tone, wrong word, or wrong sentence. That's okay. Learn and grow from it. Do not cage yourself in the prison of silence for the fear of being misunderstood or judged. You don’t owe anyone perfection. You owe yourself honesty. That’s where your real voice lives.

Sitting on the steps in front of the Gallu Devi Temple, Dharamkot on a recent solo trip.